Before starting any building construction, most builders will give you advice of starting your building with a strong foundation, because that’s what will decide how long your house will last. This doesn’t matter which materials you are going to use after finishing the foundation, but when the foundation is not strong, at any time the house may corrupt into pieces. We normally live in a world in which many people are easy on establishing things in life without remembering to start whatever they want by constructing first a strong foundation. This might be starting a company business, ministry, a church or relationships. what you need to know is that as long as the mistakes were formed from the beginning, this will be a good indicator to show you that you won’t go far on what you have started. I have seen that many marriages are facing a lot of problems nowadays because most of them started in the wrong way. I mean that when you find couples and ask them, how they came together, you will be shocked by their stories. I understand that we are living in a time where technology is rising every day, people are discovering new things and the internet has become a place people have trusted as a place where they can find whatever they want to know. Also, we see that there are nowadays dating platforms where someone can just find someone on the internet and start a relationship and then later we see that they end up marrying each other but the question to ask ourselves is that is this the right way for people to build their relation ship from?. Let's see what the Bible says about marriage in the book of Genesis 2:18-24
18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to live alone. I will make a suitable companion to help him.” 19 So he took some soil from the ground and formed all the animals and all the birds. Then he brought them to the man to see what he would name them, and that is how they all got their names. 20So the man named all the birds and all the animals; but not one of them was a suitable companion to help him. 21Then the LORD God made the man fall into a deep sleep, and while he was sleeping, he took out one of the man's ribs and closed up the flesh. 22He formed a woman out of the rib and brought her to him. 23Then the man said, “At last, here is one of my own kind Bone taken from my bone, and flesh from my flesh.‘Woman’ is her name because she was taken out of man.” 24
Adam sees his wife for the first time
We see that marriage was God's plan and not a human plan. When you check the scriptures above you will see that Adam didn’t pray for a wife, but it was God himself who saw that the man needs a companion. This tells that before seeking someone to marry, you need first to be complete in yourself. In another language, the right time for you to marry is the time when you don’t need to marry. Adam didn’t have a need to marry because he was complete on himself, this means emotional, spiritual and physical. This means that you need first to search yourself, find yourself and be independent of anyone in all areas of life, by always putting effort into knowing Jesus who can transform your life into the perfection which is found in him. Then as long as your relationship with Jesus (the Holy Spirit) is still good; then Jesus himself needs to tell you that now is a time I want you to marry. The reason is that when he is the source of your marriage he will be the sustainer of your marriage. Many marriages have started in a way which God was not the source, but their emotions and pressure from the society led them to it. Many couples are entering into marriage while they are living with a lot of bad records of their past which leads to living their entire life expecting their spouse to fullfil their needs. The truth is if you marry someone because you are lonely, expect to be more lonely in marriage because your spouse can not cover that gap; and if its because you can’t control your body from lusting, I am telling you that it will be worse when you marry because you will continue lusting to others. The point is you need to deal with yourself, and allow Jesus to be full in you; whereby he becomes the source of your joy and everything to you. That will help you to have a strong relationship even with your spouse because you had a good relationship with Jesus.
It's impossible for the birds of different species to fly together, you need a change from the inside so that you can later enjoy your marriage. This change begins with the strong foundation found in Christ Jesus. Amos 3:3 says Can two walk together, except they be agreed? It is important to first learn to have a relationship with yourself (Body, spirit and soul to become one in Christ Jesus). From there it will be possible to give out the true love you have found in Christ to the marriage you want to enter.
I remember a few weeks before my marriage I went to meet German missionaries living in Tanzania. I told her that I would like to invite her to my wedding with her husband; she was happy to be invited and promised to come not only alone but with other ten missionaries from Romania. But she asked me a straightforward question which I came to understand later; she said, I am happy that you are marrying, but does your wife have a love of Christ in her ? Without thinking twice I answered yes because what was coming in my mind was that as long as she is born again, she has received the love of Christ in her. But later on, I discovered that though my wife believed in Jesus still she had some inner pain, this came because of some situations which happened in her childhood. I came to know that even myself had some inner pain that also happened when I was a child. So we decided to agree that most of our problems in the early time of our marriage were based on these issues within us, and we decided to seek God's true healing. So before you want to enter into marriage it's important to work first on yourself, by allowing the love of God to be full in you and be complete, before you become a burden to your spouse by expecting them to give you the love which they don’t have it. The Bible says
If the foundations be destroyed, What can the righteous do? (Psalms 11:3)
Men building a very deep building foundation
Don't skip the process by trying to embrace others that you are going to marry because everyone is married in your family. marriage is not a playground, it's an institution which God has introduced for his purpose. Take time to build a strong foundation before you start a relationship because any relation which cant be found in God, through God and for God can't be sustained by God.
No matter how far you want to go with your relationship understand that how you start it will determine how far you can go with such kind of relationship. That's why it is important before you agree to marry someone to know these things. If you agree to marry someone while you are not complete on yourself, this may lead to kill God's purpose over the particular relationship you enter. I believe that God can restore a broken marriage, but let it not be an excuse for us to not be aware to create the life we desire by doing the right things before we find ourselves into these issues. Remember that a broken marriage leads to a broken family, and a broken family leads to a broken church (society), and a broken church (society) is a source of a broken nation. Write down in the comment section, what do you think is important for everyone to know before entering into marriage?